Firearm suicide prevention

TL;DR: Firearm suicide accounts for roughly 60% of all gun deaths in America, yet it gets a fraction of the public attention. Means restriction, safe storage, and honest conversation save lives. I know because my mother Joyce died by suicide with a firearm when I was 20 months old.

Sources: CDC Suicide Prevention, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, Everytown for Gun Safety

When people hear “gun violence,” most picture a mass shooting. Cable news footage of police tape, broken windows, vigil candles. But the largest category of gun death in America is one that rarely makes the evening news: suicide.

More than 26,000 Americans die by firearm suicide every year. That is roughly 70 people every single day. It is more than all homicides, mass shootings, and accidental gun deaths combined. And unlike the gun violence we argue about on social media, firearm suicide has prevention strategies that work. Proven ones. Almost nobody is talking about them at scale.

I talk about it because I have no choice. My mother Joyce died by suicide with a firearm when I was 20 months old. I grew up in the aftermath of that decision, raised by a family that loved me but could never fully explain the absence at the center of my childhood. That experience shaped everything I became: the businesses I built, the advocacy work I took on, and eventually, the keynote speaking career that lets me stand in front of rooms full of people and say the things most of us are afraid to say.

This page exists because there is a gap in the conversation. Organizations like Sandy Hook Promise and Everytown for Gun Safety do critical work, but their public messaging centers on mass shootings and school safety. The suicide side of the equation, the side that kills more people, gets less airtime, less funding, and less strategic attention.

I am not a clinician. I am not a researcher. I am a business leader, a father, and a person who lost his mother to the exact crisis I am describing. What I bring to this conversation is the lived experience and the willingness to talk about it publicly, in corporate settings, at association conferences, and in communities where the topic feels too heavy to raise.

The numbers most people do not know

Gun violence in America kills roughly 45,000 people per year. Here is how that breaks down:

Read those numbers again. The category that dominates our national debate, mass shootings, accounts for roughly 1-2% of gun deaths. The category that kills the most people, suicide, accounts for nearly 60%. This is not a fringe statistic. It is the central fact of gun death in America, and most people have never heard it framed this way.

Certain populations face elevated risk. Men account for roughly 85% of firearm suicides. Veterans die by firearm suicide at rates significantly higher than the general population. Rural communities, where gun ownership is higher and mental health access is lower, see disproportionate numbers. And older white men, a group that rarely appears in media coverage of gun violence, represent the single largest demographic of firearm suicide deaths.

These are not abstract statistics for me. My mother was a young woman in Cincinnati in the late 1970s. She had a 20-month-old son. She had a firearm accessible to her. And in one moment of crisis, that accessibility became the difference between a temporary impulse and a permanent outcome.

Why means restriction works

The single most effective intervention for preventing firearm suicide is means restriction, making it harder to access a firearm during a crisis moment.

This is not a political statement. It is an epidemiological fact supported by decades of research. Here is why it works:

Suicidal crises are usually temporary. Research consistently shows that the acute period of suicidal ideation, the window where someone moves from thinking about it to acting on it, is often measured in minutes, not hours or days. Studies of near-lethal suicide attempt survivors found that for many, the time between deciding to act and making the attempt was less than 10 minutes.

Firearms are the most lethal method. Roughly 85-90% of suicide attempts with a firearm are fatal. Compare that to drug overdose (less than 3% fatal) or cutting (less than 2% fatal). The lethality gap is enormous. A person who attempts suicide by another method is far more likely to survive, get help, and never attempt again.

Most survivors do not go on to die by suicide. A landmark study tracking people who survived suicide attempts found that roughly 90% did not go on to die by suicide. The crisis passed. They got help. They lived. The problem with firearms is that they rarely allow for that second chance.

Means restriction does not mean confiscation. It does not mean banning firearms. It means creating time and distance between a person in crisis and a lethal method. Practical examples include:

Every one of these strategies saves lives without requiring anyone to give up their Second Amendment rights. That is why means restriction has bipartisan support among researchers, clinicians, and increasingly, gun owners themselves.

My mother’s story

My mother Joyce died by suicide when I was 20 months old. I do not have memories of her. What I have are photographs, stories from family members, and the knowledge that her death shaped the trajectory of my entire life.

Family who loved me raised me in Milwaukee. I built a career in construction, grew a commercial roofing and sheet metal company from $1.5 million to $15 million in revenue, then helped build another to $35 million with 180 employees. Ran for Congress. Served on the Democratic National Committee. Became an Everytown for Gun Safety fellow.

None of that erases the absence. My mother’s death is not something I “overcame” in the inspirational sense. It is something I carry. It informs how I parent my three children. It informs how I talk about mental health in corporate settings. And it is the reason I stand on stages and talk about firearm suicide when it would be far easier to talk about leadership frameworks and team building.

I share this not for sympathy. I share it because specificity matters. When we keep firearm suicide abstract, when we talk about “26,000 deaths” without attaching names and stories, it stays a statistic. Statistics do not change behavior. Stories do.

Warning signs that someone may be in crisis

Most people who die by suicide show warning signs beforehand. The challenge is that those signs are often misread, minimized, or missed entirely, especially in populations where asking for help carries stigma (veterans, men, executives, first responders).

Warning signs fall into three categories:

What they say

• Talking about being a burden to others (“Everyone would be better off without me”)
• Expressing hopelessness or feeling trapped (“There is no way out”)
• Talking about having no reason to live or no sense of purpose
• Mentioning wanting to die, even casually or as a “joke”

What they do

• Withdrawing from friends, family, and social activities
• Giving away possessions, especially meaningful items
• Searching online for methods or means
• Increasing alcohol or drug use
• Sleeping too much or too little
• Visiting or calling people to say goodbye
• Putting affairs in order (updating wills, paying off debts) without a clear reason

What they feel

• Sudden calmness after a period of depression (this can indicate a decision has been made)
• Rage, anger, or seeking revenge
• Anxiety, agitation, or reckless behavior
• Dramatic mood swings

If you notice these signs in someone you care about, do not wait for certainty. Ask them directly: “Are you thinking about suicide?” Research shows that asking does not plant the idea. It opens the door for an honest conversation that could save their life.

What you can do right now

You do not need to be a mental health professional to make a difference in firearm suicide prevention. Here are concrete actions anyone can take:

If you own firearms

Store them locked and unloaded. Store ammunition separately. If you or someone in your household is going through a difficult time, consider temporarily transferring your firearms to a trusted person outside the home. This is not weakness. This is responsible ownership.

If someone you know is struggling

Ask them directly about suicidal thoughts. Listen without judgment. Do not try to be their therapist. Help them connect with professional support. If they have access to firearms, work with them on a safety plan that includes temporary means restriction.

If you are an employer or leader

Normalize conversations about mental health in your workplace. Train managers to recognize warning signs. Ensure your Employee Assistance Program (EAP) is accessible and well-promoted. In industries with high suicide rates (construction, agriculture, law enforcement, military), proactive programming saves lives.

If you are an event planner or conference organizer

Consider bringing this topic to your audience. Firearm suicide prevention is a subject that resonates across political lines because it centers on practical solutions, not partisan debate. Book a keynote speaker who can address it with the gravity and personal authority it deserves.

The construction industry connection

I spent 20 years in commercial construction. Roofing, sheet metal, building envelope work. I know the industry from the ground up, literally.

Construction has one of the highest suicide rates of any occupation in the United States. The Bureau of Labor Statistics and CDC data consistently show that construction workers die by suicide at rates 3-5 times higher than the general population. The reasons are well-documented: physical pain and injury, seasonal employment instability, substance use, cultural norms that discourage vulnerability, and high rates of firearm ownership.

When I speak to construction industry groups, trade associations, and building industry conferences, I bring both the personal story and the industry context. I am not an outsider telling tradespeople how to feel. I am someone who built a $15 million roofing company, who has OSHA 10 and OSHA 30 certifications, who knows what it is like to stand on a roof in January in Wisconsin and push through a day when everything hurts. That credibility matters when you are asking people to have conversations they have been avoiding their entire careers.

Why this conversation belongs in corporate settings

Most corporate wellness programs address physical health, stress management, maybe nutrition. Very few address firearm suicide directly. And yet, employees in every industry bring their home lives, their family situations, their access to lethal means, to work with them every day.

A keynote on firearm suicide prevention is not a “downer” session. It is a practical, solutions-oriented presentation that gives leaders and employees actionable tools. It takes a conversation that is already happening in whispers and makes it safe to have openly.

Companies that bring me in for this topic report two consistent outcomes: first, people come forward after the talk to share their own stories or ask for help. Second, leaders gain a framework for supporting employees in crisis that goes beyond “call the EAP number.”

If your organization is ready to address this topic, let’s talk about bringing this keynote to your team.

Resources

Bring this conversation to your organization

I deliver keynotes on firearm suicide prevention for corporate events, industry conferences, association meetings, and community organizations. I tell my mother’s story, walk through the data, and give the room specific things they can do when they get home.

This is not a political talk. It is a human one. It works across the political spectrum because prevention is not partisan.

Topics I cover include:

• The 60% reality: why firearm suicide is the largest category of gun death and what we can do about it
• Means restriction: the bipartisan prevention strategy that saves lives
• Workplace mental health: building cultures where people can ask for help
• Construction industry suicide: why the trades face elevated risk and what leaders can do
• Personal resilience: building a life after loss

Ready to bring this keynote to your audience? Book Khary to speak or reach out directly.

Last updated: April 8, 2026