We talk about gun violence in this country the same way we’ve talked about it for 30 years. The same arguments, the same positions, the same funerals followed by the same inaction. Both sides have memorized their lines. Nobody is listening to the other.
I know because I’ve been in these conversations for years. As an Everytown Fellow, as a DNC representative, as a man whose mother died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound. I’ve sat across the table from people who disagree with me fundamentally, and I’ve learned something: we’re having the wrong conversation.
TL;DR: The gun violence conversation in America is stuck because we’re arguing about rights instead of talking about outcomes. The people dying aren’t dying because of the Second Amendment debate. They’re dying because of access during crisis, untreated mental health, and a refusal to fund what works.
The conversation we keep having
Someone dies. We argue about whether guns are the problem or people are the problem. Politicians make statements. Nothing changes. Repeat.
This cycle has been running since before Columbine. The positions are entrenched. Gun rights advocates hear any mention of regulation as a threat. Gun safety advocates hear any mention of mental health as deflection. Both are partially right and completely stuck.
The conversation we should be having
Forget the ideology for a minute. Look at what actually kills people.
About 55% of gun deaths are suicides. The research is clear that access to a firearm during a mental health crisis dramatically increases the likelihood of a died by suicide. Secure storage laws, temporary removal orders, and crisis intervention programs reduce those deaths without taking a single gun away from a stable, responsible owner.
About 40% of gun deaths are homicides, concentrated in specific neighborhoods in specific cities, driven by specific and well-documented factors: poverty, lack of economic opportunity, community disinvestment, and cycles of retaliatory violence. Community violence intervention programs that work directly with people at highest risk have been shown to reduce shootings by 30-60% in pilot cities.
Mass shootings account for roughly 1% of gun deaths but consume 90% of the media coverage. That imbalance distorts the entire conversation and makes solutions feel impossible when they’re actually quite practical for the other 99%.
What works and doesn’t get funded
Extreme Risk Protection Orders, sometimes called red flag laws, allow family members or law enforcement to temporarily remove firearms from someone in crisis. The data from states that have implemented them shows reduced suicides and reduced mass casualty events. These laws don’t disarm law-abiding citizens. They create a process for crisis intervention with due process protections built in.
Community violence intervention programs that hire credible messengers, people with lived experience in affected communities, to mediate conflicts and connect at-risk individuals with services. These programs work. They’re underfunded because they don’t fit neatly into either political camp’s talking points.
Secure storage campaigns that make it normal to lock up firearms the way we made it normal to wear seatbelts. Not through mandate, but through culture change, education, and free lock distribution programs.
Why I’m still in this fight
My mother’s death was preventable. Not by a law, necessarily. But by a conversation. By someone noticing she was in crisis. By a culture that treated firearms access during mental health episodes as the serious risk factor it is.
I’m not trying to win an argument. I’m trying to save lives. The people who die from gun violence every day, the 120 Americans we lose daily, don’t care about our political positions. They needed practical help that didn’t arrive in time.
That’s the conversation worth having. Not whether guns should exist, but how we reduce the number of people who die from them without pretending there’s a simple answer. Because there isn’t one. There are dozens, and most of them are gathering dust while we argue.
About Khary Penebaker
Khary Penebaker is a Regional General Manager at Great Day Improvements, overseeing operations across Chicago, Madison, Milwaukee, and Minneapolis. He previously built Roofed Right America from startup to $35M+ in revenue with 180 employees and founded Penebaker Enterprises, growing it from $1.5M to $15M. A gun violence prevention advocate and former Everytown for Gun Safety Fellow, Khary brings two decades of leadership experience in construction, operations, and civic engagement.
Frequently Asked Questions
What percentage of gun deaths are suicides?
Roughly 62 percent of all gun deaths in the United States are suicides. That is more than 26,000 people per year. It is the majority of the problem and the least discussed part of it.
Why does nobody talk about gun suicides?
Stigma around both suicide and guns. People who support gun rights do not want to connect firearms to suicide risk. People focused on gun violence often center mass shootings because they drive media attention.
What works to prevent gun suicides?
Temporary storage programs, waiting periods, and means restriction are the most evidence backed approaches. When access to a firearm is delayed during a crisis, the vast majority of people do not attempt suicide by other means.